The Noteworthy Duties of Parents
On the other hand, the matter is different for the parents, for they are the means by which you are here. And God (Exalted) is the one who put the secret of life in the sperm. He is the one who brought into being all the factors for the development of this sperm which become a clinging mass, then blood, then bones; then clothes these bones with flesh; then makes them into a different form of creation.
And when the child is born, it is God who puts the milk in the mother's breasts. The role of the parents is then that of an intermediary; it is not their desire which caused your being. On this premise then, their status is that of anyone who is good towards you, and from here we go to the verse that states: "Is the reward of good anything but good?" (al-Rahman, 55:60). From this, we see that that your relationship towards your parents is one of goodness, an example of which God (Exalted) has said: "Whether one, or both of them, attain old age in this life, say not a word of contempt to them, nor repel them. Address them rather in words of honour." (Isra, 17:23).
Here God establishes the manner by which a person can endure every character flaw that the parents may experience when they become old, when they become testy, when the parents become a burden on the child. This is why God has revealed to the son that his position towards his parents should be one of humility, but not of degrading his humanness or self-worth. It is exactly how a person gives in to his little child.
In the context of God's discourse on the struggles which the mother endures, we find that He tells us this in His words: "His mother bore him in agony upon agony" (Luqman, 31:14), and: "His mother bore him in pain, and gave birth to him in pain" (al Ahqaf, 46:15). Thus the child struggles on their behalf and they struggle on his behalf.
Responsibilities Towards the Parents
We understand therefore that the relationship is one of doing good-i.e., that they did what was best and that now the son must conduct himself in kind. In this context, when the two parents are non-believers, or sinners, the child must maintain the view that: "And if they strive to force you to associate in worship with Me that concerning which you have no knowledge, obey them not" (Luqman, 31:15; Ankabut, 29:8). This is because it is not permissible to follow a person in non-belief, even when such a person happens to be one's own mother or father.
But their non-belief, polytheism, and sin must not remove you from the human relations which God has enjoined on you. One facet of this companionship is revealed by: "Say not a word of contempt to them, nor repel them" (Isra, 17:23). It may be that in some situations to spend on them, to yield to them, to smile and kiss them, to look after them, to care for them medically, etc. in the caring of a human being in the course of life and with feelings of compassion.
Transforming Love to Guidance
In the shadow of this, it is possible for the believer to plan the transformation of this condition to a method of guidance for his parents, as we see in the story related from Imam al-Sadiq, where a Christian came to him and converted to Islam. The man then said to the Imam, "I have a mother who is Christian; how should I behave towards her when I have become a Muslim and she still remains in non-belief?' Imam al-Sadiq replied, "See how you used to treat her when you were still Christian, and then go and improve on that."
The man went and did as the Imam had counseled him, caring ever more for her in all her ordinary needs. She was astonished at this conduct from him. She said to him, "What is all this? You used to be good to me, but you have added in your goodness towards me; what has changed you?" The son said to her, "I have converted to Islam, and the leader of this religion has taught me to do thus." She said, "Is he a prophet?" He said, "No, the offspring of a prophet." She said, "These are the morals of prophets, O my son! Explain your religion to me!" And so he explained Islam to her, and she entered the religion.
From this narration, we may infer that the Muslim child, in offering all his compassion and love, his solicitude towards his non-believing or sinful parents, can clearly put light into his conduct and feelings that transform to bring about openness to the path of righteousness.
Pleasing the Parents ... Is There a Limit
In the light of the foregoing, how do we explain the hadith "Pleasing God is pleasing the parents?"
We sometimes hear this adage, and I do not know whether it is a hadith or not. But it is another way of saying that God wants the person to please his parents. The purpose of pleasing the parents, however, must be obedience to God (Exalted) wherever the parents bring on no predicament-for example, ordering their child to do something against his best interests, detrimental, or leading him away from situations where he can show obedience to God (as in commendable deeds). For God does not wish that anyone should be in such a position of control over another, causing him problems in his religion-by leaving that which is commendable or committing the abominable, etc.
From here, we understand that pleasing God is pleasing the parents-i.e., pleasing them in the sphere of parental relations where God has decreed the rights of parents over the child. And so, it is essential that the child conduct himself there at the divine level; for God (Exalted) will not be pleased until the parents are pleased. This is because if the child were to stray from the divine path, and to rebuke his parents, thereby failing to act towards them in a goodly manner, then he has deviated from the path of God (Exalted).
Harmonizing Words and Deeds
"O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? It is most hateful to God that you should say that which you do not do" (al-Saff, 61:2-3). Is the prohibition in this verse an absolute one with respect to the words which are not accompanied by deed, or does it refer to the intention of a speech which is unaccompanied by action?
The verse means that harmony between word and deed is mandatory; or between faith (on the assumption that words are profession of faith) and the actual conduct-which the imam makes obligatory on the believing person. This holds in areas which necessitate harmony with faith. It is as if God were saying: "You people profess faith. But you do not conduct yourselves in a manner which such faith makes obligatory on you, in terms of action which [should] make you struggle in the path of God (Exalted). Rather your faith is an abstract intellectual concept which does not translate into action. And God (Exalted) does not like those who declare their affiliation with Him, His path, and religion, but do not obey him.
However, if the matter were such that the person utters a word for a practical purpose in order to safeguard Islamic objectives-to protect his Islamic position or the safety of an Islamic region, uttering words which he does not believe or saying something to which he does not lend credence-then this does not come under the umbrella of the verse. Why? Because if we understand that it is incumbent on you to balance between faith and action, in that words are professions of faith, then someone who makes a declaration in which he does not believe, or takes a stance he does not believe in, has not distanced himself from the locus of faith, for his statement was made on grounds that the nature of faith compelled him to do so.
God (Exalted) wishes for the believing person to conduct himself under conditions of duress in a manner that protects his higher goal. Here, the issue of the word that is contrary to the deed differs according to the scenario to which the word is applied. Is it a scenario with which God wishes the person to associate, or does God want that person to utter the words merely for self preservation, although these words do not reflect that person's actual beliefs?
Social Ostracism
Were the "Companions of the Cave" fleeing certain conditions or had they chosen ostracism for a time?
When we meditate on the youths of the Cave, we find that there are two possibilities in the issue. The first is that the situation was one where pressure had become so dangerous that they feared the tyrants would oppress them for their religion, forcing them to commit acts of infidelity [kufr]; that they would have to endure this atmosphere so long that they could no longer stand it.
We have previously considered the words of God regarding the oppressed who sinned and whom the angels took away in death. We saw how God (Exalted) wanted them to emigrate and to flee with their religion so that they would not come under pressure, wronging themselves in the process. Is it not possible that this was the issue of the people of the Cave?
The second possibility is that they may have wanted to take time for themselves in order to prepare for some new undertaking, hiding from the oppression, and then re-emerging in a new situation. There are few situations like this. God wanted to make their situation a lesson for the believers who came afterwards, and to show that He rescues His servants in different ways and modes, according to His wisdom.
Worship in its Broad Understanding
"And I have not created the Jinn or Humankind except to serve [Me]" (al Dhariyat, 51:56). What is this worship for which He has created us? The word "worship" means absolute submission. In other words, God (Exalted) commanded the jinn and humankind only to submit to Him in all that He wished for them, and that their wants be subordinate to His wishes. Their movements have to accord with His commands and prohibitions. Their entire life in this world should be structured upon what God wants from them in respect of the responsibility of the viceregency of human beings on this earth.
In the light of the foregoing, we find that "worship" covers everything covered by the commands and prohibitions of God (Exalted). The term includes everything that comes under the rubric of that which is done for God's pleasure and love in this life. This is what we understand from the narrative which state: "Worship is seventy parts, the best of which is seeking that which is lawful" ; "The best worship is virtue"; "The servant of God can be no more than virtuous in thought and in chastity"-the hadiths speak of the pursuit of knowledge as worship. Indeed "to reflect for an hour is better than to worship for a year"; a reflection is a form of worship which is better than a year's worship-namely, prayer without contemplation.
Comprehending God's Desires
In this manner, we may affirm that the worship of God, which God requires of both jinn and man, is a life goal which consists of the realization of God's desires for the universe. We may construe this from the words of God regarding the wisdom of sending the prophets and the revelation of the scriptures: "We sent Our messengers with clear proofs and revealed unto them the Book and the Balance, that humankind may conduct itself with righteousness" (al-Hadid, 57:25). This tells us that the purpose behind sending the messengers was to let humankind stand for justice. For this reason, the messengers were sent to the human race to explain clearly what God wanted from us-namely, to conduct ourselves with righteousness and justice.
Achieving Justice in the Universe
It is possible to state that standing in righteousness and achieving justice in the universe is one form of functional worship to which God wants His servants to apply themselves. For the verse (mentioned earlier) does not give the well-known vox populi meaning of worship, i.e., that God made the jinn and humankind perform the prayer or fast, for worship transcends those. As we know, the jurists state that any action by a worshipper intended for the pleasure of God and nearness to Him is considered worship.
