AAQ-E-WALEDAIN (Disobedience to parents)

Those Who Are Disobedient to Their Parents

The sixth Greater Sin is to be disobedient to one's parents as expressly mentioned in the traditions from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Pure Imams (a.s.). These have already been quoted in the first chapter. A tradition of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says that the greatest sins are shirk and to be disobedient to one's parents. The seriousness of disobedience to parents as a Greater sin can be gauged from the fact that the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has mentioned it along with shirk which is the greatest of all Greater sins, and unforgiveable. "Aaq" is a sin, the punishment of which is promised in the Quran and the traditions.

The words of Hazrat Isa (a.s.) as quoted by the Quran are:
"And dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me insolent, unblessed."
(Surah Mariyam 19:32)

As Isa (a.s.) did not have a father, his mother is alone mentioned. In the same Surah, both the father and mother of Hazrat Yahya (a.s.) are mentioned.

Both the verses mention three characteristics of the disobedient child (Aaq-e-Waledain).

1) 'Jabbar' (insolent)
2) 'Shaqee' (unblessed)
3) 'Aasi' (disobedient)

Each of these negative qualities render one liable for severe punishment. Regarding 'Jabbar' (insolent) the Quran says:
"And they asked for judgement and every defiant opposer was disappointed. Hell is before him and he shall be given to drink of festering water: He will drink it little by little and will not be able to swallow it agreeably, and death will come to him from every quarter, but he shall not die; and there shall be vehement chastisement before him."
(Surah Ibrahim 14:15-17)

The one who is Shaqee will be punished as follows:
"So as to those who are 'Shaqee', they shall be in fire; for them shall be sighing and groaning in it; Abiding therein so long as the heavens and the earth survive, except as your Lord pleases."
(Surah Hud 11:106-107)

Those with the third characteristic, that is, those who are 'Aasi' will be dealt with severely by Allah.

"And whoever disobeys Allah and His Apostle and goes beyond His limits, He will cause him to enter fire, to abide in it, and he shall have an abasing chastisement."
(Surah Nisa 4:14)

Tradition Regarding Aaq-e-Waledain

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says:
"Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it."
(Wasaelush Shia).

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) also said.
"One who displeases the parents, (it is as if) he has displeased Allah. One who angers both his parents (it is as if) he has angered Allah."

Elsewhere, it is mentioned,
"One who hurts his parents, hurts me and one who hurts me has hurt Allah. And the one who hurts Allah is accursed."
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has also stated:
"Allah will not speak to three kinds of people on the Day of Qiyamat. Neither will He have mercy upon them, nor will He purify their sins. There is for them a horrible chastisement. The three types of people are the believers in destiny, the drunkards and those who disobeyed their parents."
(Al Kafi)

Aaq-e-Waledain is Not Eligible For Divine Forgiveness

The wretchedness of the Aaq-e-Waledain is sufficiently evident from the fact that the trustworthy Jibraeel (a.s.) has cursed him and said,
"One who is blessed with parents but does not fulfill their (his parent's) rights will not be forgiven (his sins) by Allah."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

When Jibraeel (a.s.) said this, the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) uttered, 'Amen'! Hazrat Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said,
"Accursed, Accursed is the one who beats his parents. Accursed is the one who distresses his parents.
(Mustadrak)

Prayer is Not Accepted

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said,
"Allah will not accept the Namaz of the person who stares angrily at his parents. Even though they (parents) may be unjust."

A Young man is interceeded by the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.)

A young man was on his deathbed when the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) came, sat near him, and told him to recite two kalimas (Shahadatain). But the youth could not speak. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) enquired if his mother was present? A woman sitting near his head said, "Yes, I am his mother."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked, "Are your displeased with him?"

'Yes, O Prophet (s.a.w.s.), we have not spoken to each other since the last six years.'

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked this woman to forgive her son. Thus at the Prophet's instance she forgave his mistakes and was reconciled. At once the young man was able to recite the Kalima-e-Shahadat.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked him,
"What do you see, at this moment." " O Prophet of Allah a dark and smelly man has got hold of me and is not leaving me."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told him to recite the following dua,
"Ya man Yaqbalul yaseera wa y'afo 'Anil Katheera Iqbal minnil Yaseera Wa 'Aafo 'Annil Katheera."

Then asked, "Now what do you see?" He replied, "A fair complexioned man, handsome and fragrant, is moving towards me."

The Holy Prophet said, "Keep repeating this dua." When the youth repeated this dua he said "O Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.s.) both of them have disappeared from my sight." After this the face of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) was illuminated with joy. He said, "O Allah forgive the sins of this young man." Then the youth passed away.
(Behaarul Anwaar)

This tradition shows how difficult are the last moments of the Aaq-e-Waledain. He leaves this world in disbelief and remains, forever, in Divine punishment. The tutor of Kalima for this young man was the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.). In spite of this his tongue did not move till his mother forgive him. The blessings of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the forgiveness of his mother brought salvation for this youth.

What is Aaq-e-Waledain?

Allama Majlisi (r.a.) writes in his commentary on Al Kafi:
Aaq-e-Waledain means that the son or the daughter cause disrespect to parents by speech or actions. Or they do not obey them in matters which are within reason and matters which are not in any way against religion.

Aaq-e-Waledain is absolutely Haraam. The books of traditions of both the Shias as well as the Sunnis validate this fact.

To look at the parents with anger is Aaq: To cause unhappiness to the parents results in Aaq. It is Haraam to take any step, which one is sure, will displease the parents.

  Parents is Wajib

The verses of the Quran as well as the traditions of the infallible Imams (a.s.) not only prohibit displeasing and angering the parents, but also stress that benevolence towards them is Wajib.

A few examples of the Quranic Ayats are presented for the readers:
1) "And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents."
(Surah Ankaboot 29:8)
2) "Be grateful to Me and both your parents..."
(Surah Luqman 31:14)

The above verse is specially worth noting for the fact that Allah has mentioned together gratefulness towards Himself and to the parents. Certainly thankfulness to Allah is Wajib, and in the same way it is Wajib for the children to be thankful to their parents.

3) "And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Uff" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little.
(Surah Bani Israel 17:23-24)

In this Ayat Allah has mentioned goodness to parents. In the same sentence He exhorts about service to Him. As service to Allah is Wajib, benevolence to parent is Wajib too.

When the Imam (a.s.) was asked to explain the meaning of the term "Bil Waledaine Ehsana" (and goodness to your parents), he said,
"Be good to your parents and if they are in need of something, procure it for them before they ask for it."

Then the meaning of the words, "Taqullahuma Qualan Kareema" (speak to them a generous word) was explained by the Imam (a.s.)

"If the parents beat you, say 'May Allah forgive you'. The phrase 'Wakhfiz Lahuma' (and make yourself submissively gentle to them) is elaborated by the Imam (a.s.):
"Do not look at them with distaste. Do not raise your voice above theirs. When you walk with them do not precede them. When you go to a gathering, do not sit before they do. Never keep your hand above theirs (while giving them something)."

Service to Parents is Better Than Jehad

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) narrates that a young man presented himself to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and said that he wanted to participate in Jehad. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told him:
"Certainly, go for Jehad in the way of Allah. If your are killed you will be alive near Allah and be provided sustenance from Him. The recompense for your sacrifice would be with Allah. If you return alive your sins would be washed off as if your were a newborn child."

This man said: "O Prophet of Allah, my parents are alive and they are aged and have great expectations from me. They do not like me to be away from them."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
"If that is so, then stay behind to serve your parents. By Allah in whose hands is my life, to serve parents for a day and night is equal to a year of Jehad."

Another tradition from Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says:
"Acquire your place in Heaven by serving your parents. If you are guilty of 'Aaq' then make Hell your abode."

Goodness to Parents is the Expiation of Sins

Goodness towards the parents is the expiation of various sins. It is related in a report that a man came to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and said, "O, Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.s.) there is not a single misdeed, that I have not committed. Is there repentance for me?" The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) told him,
"Go and do goodness to your father in order that your sins may be expiated."

When the man left the assembly the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said,
"If his mother had been alive, it would have been more meritorious to do good to her."

Satisfaction of Parents is Satisfaction of Allah

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has stated,
"In the happiness of parents lies the happiness of Allah and in their dissatisfaction is Allah's dissatisfaction."
(Behaarul Anwaar).

He (s.a.w.s.) further said,
"A person who is good to his parents will be just a grade below the prophets in Heaven. And the Aaq-e-Waledain will be only a grade higher than the Firons in Hell."
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

Angels Pray for Those Who do Good to Their Parents

Amirul Momineen Ali (a.s.) says,
"Benevolence to parents is the greatest of the religious obligations."

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says that Allah has two Angels one of whom says, "O Allah! Protect those who do good to the parents." The other Angel prays, "O Allah! Destroy those people by retribution, with whom their parents are angry." Needless to say, the prayers of the Angels are always accepted by Allah.

The Material Effects of Aaq

The previous traditions mention the ill effects of 'Aaq-e-Waledain' in the hereafter. The following traditions describe the evil repercussions of Aaq-e-Waledain in this life.

The last of the Prophets (s.a.w.s.) says:
"There are three kinds of sins which are punished in this world, rather than being given respite till Qiyamat. The first is Aaq-e-Waledain. The second, injustice upon men and third, thanklessness for favour."

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) stated,
"Secret charity cools down Divine anger while goodness to parents and benevolence to relatives, prolongs life."
(Behaarul Anwaar).

Another tradition says,
"Benevolence to parents and secret charity, ward off poverty, and both (these deeds) prolong life. Seventy types of death are kept away."
(Behaarul Anwaar)

"Those who assure me that they will be benevolent to parents and do good to the relatives, I will give them excess of wealth and a long life and assure them of being close among our group."
(Mustadrakul Wasael)

Hazrat Imam Naqi (a.s.) said,
"The displeasing of parents causes decrease in sustenance and degradation (also follows)."

Aaq-e-Waledain Cause Poverty and Misfortune

There was a young man from Madinah. His parents were very old. He never did any good towards them. He neglected them and did not expend any of his wealth for their well-being. After sometime he became a destitute and fell sick. His wretchedness and misery reached such excessive, that he became a pitiable character. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said,
"Those who cause hurt to their parents should derive lessons from the life of this man. See how his wealth and property has been taken away. His affluence and independence has changed to poverty and his health has turned into disease. Whatever position he was to get in Heaven, he has been deprived of due to his sins; in its place the fire of Hell has been prepared for him."
(Safinatul Bihar)

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) narrates:
"When Hazrat Yaqoob (a.s.) went to Egypt to meet his son Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.), he (Yusuf a.s.) did not alight from his horse to pay respect to his father. Hazrat Jibraeel (a.s.) descended, and told Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.) to open his fist. As he did so, a light shot out from his palm and rose towards the sky. Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.) enquired, "What was this light which came out of my hand and shot to the sky?." Jibraeel (a.s.) replied, "The light of Prophethood has departed from your loins. You did not pay due respect to your father hence none of your descendants will get Prophethood." It is true that Hazrat Yusuf (a.s.) did not descend from his horse to pay respect to his father. However, this was not due to any feelings of pride and vanity. The Prophets are sinless and could never harbour such emotions. His intentions were merely to maintain his dignity as a King among his subjects."

Evil Consequences of Aaq-e-Waledain

Aaq-e-Waledain brings disgrace in the Hereafter, and goodness to parents brings honour and glory. As Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has said,
"Those who wish an easy death should do good to the relatives and be kind to parents. When one does this, Allah will make easy the agony of death. In this world he will not face difficulties and poverty."
(Safinatun Bihar)

Prayers of the Parents Are Accepted Soon

The supplication of parents for the welfare of the child are quickly answered by Allah and in the same way their ill wish (curse) due to displeasing them also takes quick effect. Numerous traditions have been recorded in this connection. One such tradition is connected with the merits of Dua-e-Mashlool. It is said that a young man had lost the use of his right hand which was paralysed due to the curse of his father. After his father's death, the man prayed the entire night, continuously for a period of three years in Masjidul Haram. One day Hadhrat Ali (a.s.) saw him and took pity upon him. He taught him Dua-e-Mashlool. By the virtue of this Dua the young man was cured.

The Mother Has More Rights Than the Father

Goodness towards the mother is more rewarding. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) emphasized that benevolence shown to the mother should be three times the magnitude of that shown towards the father. When he was asked as to which of the parents had more rights, he replied,
"Was it not your mother who suffered the birth pangs to give birth to you and provided you with your natural diet from her breasts? Indeed the rights of a mother far outweigh those of the father."
(Mustadrakul Wasael)