If the boys and girls who want to get married act based on three divine commands, their differences and disagreement will be greatly lessened and reduced
1-they have to lessen their expectation toward each other, it means that the woman should regulate and adjust her expectation according to the emotional and financial limits of the man, and the man should also set and adjusts his expectations based on the emotional, physical and mental limits of the woman.
2-they should be forgiving and tolerant in their life. If the woman makes the man angry by her sarcastic and sharp speeches, the man should tolerate and let the fight be one sided. Furthermore, that very small flame should not end into a huge fire. In such situation the man should remain silent so that his wife finishes speaking or fighting. It mean that being ignorant and tolerant extinguish that small flame and no fight will be started. Once her wife,s anger is over, the man can say: my dear wife, you are tired and I will make the dinner tonight, this is the easy and simple religion but it needs a great deal of practice.
3- they should have Seleh-ye Rahem which means maintaining supporting and friendly relationships with one’s physical arham (family members and relatives) and spiritual arham (consisting of the Prophet, the infallible Imams, religious scholars and Imam’s descendants or Sadat). Opposing it is against the religion of Allah and against the humanity. If the man likes to take his kids to his parents, and the woman disagrees, this brings about difference and dispute and the man,s feelings, or if the man says: I don’t want to go to your father,s house. This type of behavior causes cold treatment from the woman side and her affections will be reduced.
source : erfan.ir